I turned 25 on the 24th of March. March is always that exciting yet stressful month of the year for me. I am a person that loves celebrating Birthdays. I have always been! I trace this excitement back to my childhood. My mother always set up a “birthday-table”, since I am a “frühlingskind” (spring baby) she would create an Easter tree for me-by placing twigs and branches in a large vase. She would then decorate the twigs, by hanging little colourful Easter eggs and pretty ornaments. She would sing for me and I would blow out my candles and we would have cake.
There are some memories that you hold on to as a child, especially if you lost the person that you had those memories with early. This year I turned 25, it feels scary because there are a ton of things that I want to do and so many things that I am unsure of.
I am currently working part-time and trying to pursue my dreams/hopes and still figuring out my life.
Here is a list of 25 statements/facts/thoughts/scatters that I would like to share:
- I hope to learn to edit videos and pictures better in the coming months
- I grew up with family traditions until the age of 8. I hope to start a new tradition of spending time with my family every Sunday
- My family is my younger brother
- Sonny’s Blues by James Baldwin describes the relationship that I have with my brother quiet accurately
- My brother is 3 years younger than me
- I live very close to the area where my Mother used to live when she was in her 20s
- Berlin will always be the city where I had a mother
- My mother died when I was 8
- At nine my confidence started to diminish
- I used to go snorkelling a lot as a young girl. I would go alone and spend hours floating on the ocean’s surface and watching the corals below me
- The subject’s that I enjoyed most in primary school were English and English literature
- I changed school’s three times
- In ninth grade, I cut all my relaxed hair with a shaving razor blade and went bald. I did this because I had promised my mother that I would never put relaxer in my hair.
- As a teenager I looked for approval and love from boys and others. I would alter myself so much just to gain approval.
- Nobody told me growing up that it was ok to grieve. It was more like its over now, get over it already, so and so years have passed.
- I won a poetry competition once
- My middle name is Kondo. When I was born I had a lawyer as the German social services thought that Kondo was a boy’s name. But my mother’s mum was called Kondo so my Parents had to prove that the name was not a boy’s name :/ if only Marie Kondo’s book would have been a bestseller back then.
- As a teenager, I tried out several religions as I was searching for rules and guidance. Looking back, I realise that all along I was searching for something that would let me know that I was Ok.
- I came back to Berlin on my own when I was 19
- People in Germany did ask me if I grew up with Giraffes in my backyard
- I did not grow up eating fruits, veggies or organic produce. I am a 90s baby. I celebrated one of my Birthdays at Mcdonalds and another at Pizza Hut.
- I have been plant-based for almost 3.5 years now.
- I have come to realise that in a long distance relationship it is not about the distance but more of what happens when you see each other again. Just because you survived 3 months or a year apart does not mean anything. It is about how strongly connected you feel once you are back together in one space again.
- I have learnt to let go of things that I can not control. I still miss my mother but I am not ashamed of that fact anymore, that’s why I can share all this.
- I am grateful to everybody that came out to celebrate me.