Film + Poetry

 

 

Thank you to all the people that came to Domicilium at Deriva on the 11.12.18 and for bearing with me through my set.

I have been experimenting a lot with video and words. I’m often misunderstood because I have been exposed to many things, yet people seek differences.

The thing that has kept me going for a long time is my genuine excitement for things. Yet, it is getting harder to remain joyful and curious. Experimenting with video, photography, sound, biology and poetry are a few things that still excite me.

However, I do not want to put my life on those things because that would be placing too much pressure on those things and I know that attention is a rare commodity so I might lose it if I give these things my life. Yet, they are my life, or are they? or is my life my breath? my dependence on the photosynthesis of others? what has priority? Sorry, I can’t help but be vague and emotional. I laugh too when I want, swimming and floating is my only way of flying.

Images shot by at Sanna Kartau
Music: https://soundcloud.com/slominu/ginivera

Abscission

Abscission in plants is the shedding of leaves, flowers and fruits. The process of abscission in plants happens in three processes
1) resorption,
2) protective layer formation
3) detachment.

The detachment phase is increased by water inhibition as observed in apple, citrus, peach and nut trees. Abscission in cells is observed during cytokinesis which is the cell division process when the cytoplasm( all the contents of a cell apart from the nucleus) of one eukaryotic cell divides into two daughter cells. Abscission is the phase where two daughter cells get split up, therefore completing cytokinesis. In zoology, abscission is the shedding of a body part such as a claw or in the case of some Geckos the shedding of a tail to avoid predators.

The poet in this piece is shedding parts of themselves. Shedding of hair and of panic that releases tears and pain. Abscission is a form of vulnerability, as the fallen leaves of pain and the fruits of fear and doubt have fallen. Yet, not fully out of sight, as the fruits lie on display for all to see. The poet like a tree drops fruits of truths and nuts of fears, that hit the reader to pick up, ingest and introspect.

I got in to the Oxford Undergraduate Creative Writing Diploma

*this post can also be read on my gofundme page: https://www.gofundme.com/oxford-creative-writing-diploma *

On the 5th of March I wrote a short note to myself, saying “you did it! You applied for the Creative Writing Undergraduate Diploma at Oxford University today!”. Since the age of nine, I have always been writing notes to myself and documenting most of what I do. Writing to me has always been the best way to communicate with myself and often also with others.

Anyway, in the beginning of April, I was invited for a telephone interview. I was very excited that I had made it to the second round. During the interview the course co-ordinator asked me “what is your aim with writing”. This question threw me off! I thought about Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and her talk; „the danger of a single story”. She says that stories matter and that stories can empower and humanize. I had never really thought about what my aim with writing was ever since I had started writing stories. Most of my stories were about a girl that loses her mother and goes on adventures on her own and meets people along the way that fill her life with all sorts of wonders. I lost my mother at the age of eight to cancer.

During the interview I gave an answer along those lines. I felt like such an imposter, who did I think I was to tell stories to try and empower others? In short, I thought that the interview went horrible.

 Fast forward to the 15th of May I get an email saying that my application had been successful. I had a study spot. I called my father and he sighed and changed the subject.

Therefore, I am now telling all of you. I got into Oxford! Yet, since I just graduated, and I do not have any savings I cannot afford the tuition fees. Which consists of:

  • £ 2575 tuition fees for the first year
  • £200 acceptance fees

I know that this would be a great opportunity for me to finally tell the stories that I have always been wanting to tell. I appreciate each one of you for supporting me and my dreams.

link to my gofundme : https://www.gofundme.com/oxford-creative-wri

Cryptomnesia- Cashmere radio

I know this is way overdue.

But today I am sharing my radio performance on the cashmere radio segment cryptomnesia. The segment is hosted by Dayna Gross, a writer that is currently living in Berlin. Cryptomnesia is a show that features poets of the past with poets of the present that are residing in Berlin. The poet I was paired with was the queen herself, Maya Angelou. I was very nervous about the performance as it was live radio but Dayna was a really sweet host and was encouraging me all the way. Therefore, the end results turned out pretty neat- if you ask me. Have a listen to the performance here: 

https://cashmereradio.com/episode/cryptomnesia-9-guesting-esther-heller-featuring-maya-angelou-and-autonomous-loss/