I turned 25 on the 24th of March. March is always that exciting yet stressful month of the year for me. I am a person that loves celebrating Birthdays. I have always been! I trace this excitement back to my childhood. My mother always set up a “birthday-table”, since I am a “frühlingskind” (spring baby) she would create an Easter tree for me-by placing twigs and branches in a large vase. She would then decorate the twigs, by hanging little colourful Easter eggs and pretty ornaments. She would sing for me and I would blow out my candles and we would have cake.

 

There are some memories that you hold on to as a child, especially if you lost the person that you had those memories with early.  This year I turned 25, it feels scary because there are a ton of things that I want to do and so many things that I am unsure of.

 I am currently working part-time and trying to pursue my dreams/hopes and still figuring out my life.

 

Here is a list of 25 statements/facts/thoughts/scatters that I would like to share:

1. I hope to learn to edit videos and pictures better in the coming months
2. I grew up with family traditions until the age of 8. I hope to start a new tradition of spending time with my family every Sunday
3. My family is my younger brother
4. Sonny’s Blues by James Baldwin describes the relationship that I have with my brother quiet accurately
5. My brother is 3 years younger than me
6. I live very close to the area where my Mother used to live when she was in her 20s
7. Berlin will always be the city where I had a mother
8. My mother died when I was 8
9. At nine my confidence started to diminish
10. I used to go snorkelling a lot as a young girl. I would go alone and spend hours floating on the ocean’s surface and watching the corals below me
11. The subject’s that I enjoyed most in primary school were English and English literature
12. I changed school’s three times
13. In ninth grade, I cut all my relaxed hair with a shaving razor blade and went bald. I did this because I had promised my mother that I would never put relaxer in my hair.
14. As a teenager I looked for approval and love from boys and others. I would alter myself so much just to gain approval.
15. Nobody told me growing up that it was ok to grieve. It was more like its over now, get over it already, so and so years have passed.
16. I won a poetry competition once
17. My middle name is Kondo. When I was born I had a lawyer as the German social services thought that Kondo was a boy’s name. But my mother’s mum was called Kondo so my Parents had to prove that the name was not a boy’s name :/ if only Marie Kondo’s book would have been a bestseller back then.
18. As a teenager, I tried out several religions as I was searching for rules and guidance. Looking back, I realise that all along I was searching for something that would let me know that I was Ok.
19. I came back to Berlin on my own when I was 19
20.  People in Germany did ask me if I grew up with Giraffes in my backyard
21. I did not grow up eating fruits, veggies or organic produce. I am a 90s baby. I celebrated one of my Birthdays at Mcdonalds and another at Pizza Hut.
22. I have been plant-based for almost 3.5 years now.
23. I have come to realise that in a long distance relationship it is not about the distance but more of what happens when you see each other again. Just because you survived 3 months or a year apart does not mean anything. It is about how strongly connected you feel once you are back together in one space again.
24. I have learnt to let go of things that I can not control. I still miss my mother but I am not ashamed of that fact anymore, that’s why I can share all this.
25. I am grateful to everybody that came out to celebrate me.

 

P.s I made a carrot cake. I always use the same recipe because it seriously does not disappoint get it here.