I got in to the Oxford Undergraduate Creative Writing Diploma

*this post can also be read on my gofundme page: https://www.gofundme.com/oxford-creative-writing-diploma *

On the 5th of March I wrote a short note to myself, saying “you did it! You applied for the Creative Writing Undergraduate Diploma at Oxford University today!”. Since the age of nine, I have always been writing notes to myself and documenting most of what I do. Writing to me has always been the best way to communicate with myself and often also with others.

Anyway, in the beginning of April, I was invited for a telephone interview. I was very excited that I had made it to the second round. During the interview the course co-ordinator asked me “what is your aim with writing”. This question threw me off! I thought about Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and her talk; „the danger of a single story”. She says that stories matter and that stories can empower and humanize. I had never really thought about what my aim with writing was ever since I had started writing stories. Most of my stories were about a girl that loses her mother and goes on adventures on her own and meets people along the way that fill her life with all sorts of wonders. I lost my mother at the age of eight to cancer.

During the interview I gave an answer along those lines. I felt like such an imposter, who did I think I was to tell stories to try and empower others? In short, I thought that the interview went horrible.

 Fast forward to the 15th of May I get an email saying that my application had been successful. I had a study spot. I called my father and he sighed and changed the subject.

Therefore, I am now telling all of you. I got into Oxford! Yet, since I just graduated, and I do not have any savings I cannot afford the tuition fees. Which consists of:

  • £ 2575 tuition fees for the first year
  • £200 acceptance fees

I know that this would be a great opportunity for me to finally tell the stories that I have always been wanting to tell. I appreciate each one of you for supporting me and my dreams.

link to my gofundme : https://www.gofundme.com/oxford-creative-wri

British Council Artist in Residence

This year started with a double turn of events for me. First, I took part in a writing competition that was held by the British Council and won a ticket to participate for free at the three-day literature seminar on the themes of sexuality, gender and masculinity, that the British Council was hosting here in Berlin. The second turn of events came in the form of an amazing opportunity for me as a poet and writer. I applied to become the artist in residence at the British Council for this year and *drumroll* I got the spot. Yes, I am the artist in residence at the British Council here in Berlin. https://www.britishcouncil.de/en/uk-germany-2018/artist-esther-heller

This means that I will be participating in different cultural events that the British Council will be hosting this year. By participating in these events, I will have the opportunity to meet and hear a variety of writers that are making waves in British literature today.

For instance, at the first seminar that I attended (due to winning the competition), I had the honour to speak to Bernadine Evaristo, Nick Makoha, Kate Hudson, Monique Roffey and Sabrina Mahfouz. I also had the chance to take part in a workshop that was instructed by the talented Sabrina Mahfouz on writing for the stage.

I would like to document my one year as artist in resident. And I would like to take you all with me, I am not sure what will happen but at the end of it all, but I do know that I will have learned a ton.

 

#Britlit Seminar: Sexuality, Gender and Masculinity

The themes of sexuality, gender and masculinity are currently very present in our day and age. Therefore, it was wonderful to hear different literary voices speak on these matters.

For the competition, I had written a poem that highlighted gender roles, sexuality and masculinity. This poem is untitled.

On the theme of gender Juno Dawson really captivated me the most she said so many things that just resonated with me. She brought me to question things that I had already been questioning, but she made me feel assured that I had every right to question those things. She inspired me so much that I wrote a reflective piece of poetry titled “When did I become a woman?”.

Juno mentioned the existentialist philosopher and writer Simone de Beauvoir who wrote the famous quote “one is not born a woman but rather becomes one.” At the seminar, I met another fellow competition winner Marie Theresa a graduate of creative writing and English from Brunel University, who flew in from London to attend the seminar. I asked her to respond to “when did I become a woman” by writing a poem of her own. She responded with the powerful poem titled “Mother Nature”. I was in such awe when I read the poem. It was such a coincidence that Marie Theresa’s poem gives such strong imagery of nature. I use the word coincidence because I had just sent her my poem without giving any explanation and without mentioning de Beauvoir. The coincidence part comes in because de Beauvoir gives the example in her most famous work titled the “The second sex” that a young girl can be comfortable in her body when she, for example, is out in nature and feels a deep connection between her body and nature[1]. Therefore, Marie- Theresa’s response was so compelling to me.

The second poem that was inspired through my attendance of the seminar comes from something that I noted down that one of the women speaking at the seminar had said, I sadly can not remember who of the wonderful women said it. However, the phrase that I noted was, „As a woman, there are parts of yourself that are not taken seriously in society”. Out of this phrase the poem Farina was born.

After the seminar, I did some more research on the theme of masculinity and came along some great resources. The Southbank Centre in London held the being a man festival for the fourth time last year in November. During this seminar, some men talked about the topic of masculinity. I can only recommend listening to the talks that were held at the festival, the ones that resonated with me deeply were the talks by Kevin Powell (very powerful!) and Robert Webb. I have linked the recorded podcasts of their talks at the festival at the end of this post.

To end this post, I would like to share a quote from bell hooks from her book “All about love”, which I find speaks immense volumes on the subject of masculinity;

 

 

Podcast:

 https://open.spotify.com/episode/4IanwaZWPr7MSB61zrxLm8?si=CUNfA06BToqbiOaq5BNrRA – Kevin Powell

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4CDcagHqjxw57iL5NRMGJ3?si=6-O4shKmS-iFV8arXpm9jQ – Robert Webb

https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/festivals-series/being-a-man – Southbank centre being a man festival

 

[1] Joseph, Felicity. 2008. “Becoming A Woman: Simone De Beauvoir On Female Embodiment | Issue 69 | Philosophy Now”. Philosophynow.Org. https://philosophynow.org/issues/69/Becoming_A_Woman_Simone_de_Beauvoir_on_Female_Embodiment.